i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize