I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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