I feel like abortions should bother me more
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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