Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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