Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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