I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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