After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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