kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
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We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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