she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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