Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize