Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
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I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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