Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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