Already got asked if we're dating
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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