I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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