Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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(308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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(201): i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures. http://tfl.nu/5w6x

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(618): View more from Illinois

So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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(618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?

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(479): Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one? http://tfl.nu/0w3a

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(409): View more from Texas

Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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(409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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(703): I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order http://tfl.nu/64q0

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(626): View more from California

We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

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(626): We stole a cat. That is all you need to know. http://tfl.nu/xol0

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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(360): Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything. http://tfl.nu/kqmn

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

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(920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1

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(602): View more from Arizona

I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

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(602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav

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(703): View more from Virginia

Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money

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(703): Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money http://tfl.nu/3bbc

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(802): View more from Vermont

Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...

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(802): Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not... http://tfl.nu/ztpl

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.

(404): View more from Georgia

In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.

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(404): He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer. (404): In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ays

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(616): View more from Michigan

I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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(616): I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/as8y

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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(262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1

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