Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
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I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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