Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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