I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He did a backflip because drugs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize