im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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