sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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