I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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