Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize