I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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