have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize