dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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