I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
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Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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