woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize