Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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