If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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