her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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