i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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