Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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