I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize