butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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