i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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