Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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