Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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