somebody snuck up and got me drunk
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize