Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize