The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Your penis caused this!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize