I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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