I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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