"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize