Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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