Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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