it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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