I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize