where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
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u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
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To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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