Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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