put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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